| update shmupdate |
[Jan. 24th, 2007|03:40 pm] |
this is for mercedes, who never reads my other blog. so i cut and paste, messily, for her.
most recent:
Monday, January 22nd
pretty for me, valentines 2007
those who were around this time last year (by "around", i mean reading my journal) might remember that i spent valentine's day 2006 coordinating/putting on a "pretty for me" day for the women, children and staff, at the safeplace battered women's shelter. i brought together my stylists, make up artists, and massage therapists to create a beauty and pampering event for the women of the shelter. personally, it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and without a doubt one of the best ways to spend valentine's day ever.
...and i just got my first email reply from a massage therapist who volunteered last year, who said she would be "honored" to participate again! i'm so excited! it is such a gift to be in the position where i can help create something like this. you should have seen these women- one woman, while receiving a chair massage told me she hadn't had loving touch in 15 years. another shared about how no one was looking forward to valentine's day, until they heard about this event- then, it was all they could talk about! another woman told me she has been afraid to go in for a job interview, but her makeover and massage had boosted her confidence so much that she was going to go apply for the job that day.
this is going to be so beautiful!
i am so thankful for this opportunity. what a gift.
happy monday
lovelovelove
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Friday, January 19th
insert dick in a box SNL skit here... i cant find the lj link for it. but it cracks me up. if you havent seen it, you should.
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Friday, January 12, 2007
my life: an update
let's see...i've been waiting to write something so i can put it down exactly right- but then i get so caught up in all of life that i dont make time to put it down. so here's an update, thoroughly not thought through, just for the sake of updating.
my pop's caught the cancer. the prostate kind. apparently they caught it so early that he'll just be able to have surgery and be done with it, though apparently its the very aggressive kind. my father, if you have never met him, is very matter of fact. and busy. so he seems to be more put off by the face that he "just doesnt have the time to deal with it" then with the fact that he has cancer. this is going to end up being a beautiful gift. i remember last year at this time, when my mother told me she was choosing to do chemotherapy. i remember wrestling with, and resisting, the mantra "thank you for everything, i have no complaint whatsoever." she's healthy and her chemo is over, and i see now the gifts that were available in that experience, that wouldn't have been given to us otherwise. and i know, too, that there is a gift in this experience also. i have no question about it. he has agreed to let me set up my massage chair in his office and give him daily massages to easy stress and boost his immune system. and i know that over time this is going to help transform him. and me. he called me this morning to tell me that when he woke up this morning, he didnt wake up to his usual aches and pains. only after 18 holes of golf did he begin to feel a little stiff, and even then not much. he just want to call me and report the good news, and tell me he loved me. this, after only have given him 2 massages in the past 3 days. my eyes well up with tears just thinking how beautiful this gift is already.
i have been practicing the meditation of guruprasd daily. i have also been studying sound healing and toning, and have started to incorporate a tibetan bowl into my practice. everything is a vibration- the universe is neither blessing you nor punishing you- just merely returning the vibration you have sent out. my heart continues to open more and more. sometimes its overwhelming. have you ever looked outside and consciously thought of all the lives and things that are so interconnected that they have created what you experience right now? how many people's work went into this computer that i casually type on, how many lives have touched it, what stories do they have, what love have they experienced? and all the people they know... and that's not even getting into the millions of things that made it possible for me to have this desk this computer sits on, and everything that created all the notes i have on my desk, all the lives intricately involved in mine, but people i will otherwise never know... its amazing. and i feel so much more love in my heart when i think about how interconnected our experiences are.
life is beautifully busy, and only looking to get busier. i have been asked by a friend who was an SELP coach to create and lead teacher training program for her business, themoneyacademy.net . she has a curriculum that teaches financial literacy to children thru camps and after school club, so i am going to help her help cause financial freedom for young people and families.
i have an interview next week to teach kundalini yoga at a new yoga/tai chi/y mas center. i have been looking to create something like this too, so i am very excited about the opportunity to teach and learn.
i have been following my joy, and getting such delightful results.
happy friday my lovelies.
follow your joy.
lovelovelove
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
new years resolutions
5 daily practices for 2007
1. practice gratitude
2. practice the art of conscious creation and the law of attraction
3. practice loving unconditionally
4. practice unconditional forgiveness and allowance
5. practice meditation and breathwork
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happy 2007 everyone. may this year be the best one yet.
lovelovelove
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Friday, December 22, 2006
the gift of guruprasad
there is a beautiful meditation that i have been practicing lately called 'the meditation for guruprasad.' guruprasad means "gift from the guru"; a little translation of the word guru means the one who takes us from darkness to light. this meditation is very sweet and very simple. you sit comfortably in meditation pose, with your legs crossed and your back straight, as you cup your hands together at heart level, upper arms pressed against your rib cage with your palms facing upwards and your eyes gently closed. then you imagine that you are asking for a blessing from god, for simple grace, and you imagine that something is flowing into your hands from heaven- anything it is that you want: abundance, health, joy, love... all the blessings of heaven being poured into your open hands. simply be with your breath and allow your heart and soul be filled with the universe. it is very simple, very sweet. in one version of the meditation you only need practice for three minutes, though you are free to do it as long as you like. afterwards i open my eyes and there is such an experience of lightness and sweetness. so i have meditating like this lately, imaging all those things -joy, love, abundance- flowing into my life, being poured into my awaiting hands.
and last night i had such a beautiful awakening to the beauty of this meditation. thursdays nights has been my selp nights for the past several months, and before the self expression and leadership program starts, there is always a coaches meeting where we sit and clear about the week, sharing breakdowns and breakthroughs and various number of other things going on in our lives. and as the coaches, who have become my friends and family, shared miracles they have created in their lives, all of a sudden i realized that i was occurring completely differently then ever before. where before i used to listen and be happy (or irritated, depending on my mood, to be honest) for what was going for them, this time- this time i heard their joys as my joys, their blessings as my blessings, their gifts as my gifts. i realized, as they shared about creating love and abundance and joy and miracles in their lives- that my meditation, my prayers, had been fulfilled. all the times i sat and meditated and called those things into my life- here it was: it was in my life, by being in theirs. it was such a beautiful awakening, realizing this- small tears welled in my eyes as i listened and really experienced that all the gifts of the universe were really, in fact, flowing to me- by flowing to them. i felt so fulfilled.
and so, as this holiday season is upon us, i ask for this: to continue to be present to the joy of knowing that all my meditations and prayers for happiness and love and abundance and fulfillment are answered, because they are coming to true for you.
happy friday.
lovelovelove |
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| the gift of guruprasad |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|12:39 pm] |
there is a beautiful meditation that i have been practicing lately called 'the meditation for guruprasad.' guruprasad means "gift from the guru"; a little translation of the word guru means the one who takes us from darkness to light. this meditation is very sweet and very simple. you sit comfortably in meditation pose, with your legs crossed and your back straight, as you cup your hands together at heart level, upper arms pressed against your rib cage with your palms facing upwards and your eyes gently closed. then you imagine that you are asking for a blessing from god, for simple grace, and you imagine that something is flowing into your hands from heaven- anything it is that you want: abundance, health, joy, love... all the blessings of heaven being poured into your open hands. simply be with your breath and allow your heart and soul be filled with the universe. it is very simple, very sweet. in one version of the meditation you only need practice for three minutes, though you are free to do it as long as you like. afterwards i open my eyes and there is such an experience of lightness and sweetness. so i have meditating like this lately, imaging all those things -joy, love, abundance- flowing into my life, being poured into my awaiting hands.
and last night i had such a beautiful awakening to the beauty of this meditation. thursdays nights has been my selp nights for the past several months, and before the self expression and leadership program starts, there is always a coaches meeting where we sit and clear about the week, sharing breakdowns and breakthroughs and various number of other things going on in our lives. and as the coaches, who have become my friends and family, shared miracles they have created in their lives, all of a sudden i realized that i was occurring completely differently then ever before. where before i used to listen and be happy (or irritated, depending on my mood, to be honest) for what was going for them, this time- this time i heard their joys as my joys, their blessings as my blessings, their gifts as my gifts. i realized, as they shared about creating love and abundance and joy and miracles in their lives- that my meditation, my prayers, had been fulfilled. all the times i sat and meditated and called those things into my life- here it was: it was in my life, by being in theirs. it was such a beautiful awakening, realizing this- small tears welled in my eyes as i listened and really experienced that all the gifts of the universe were really, in fact, flowing to me- by flowing to them. i felt so fulfilled.
and so, as this holiday season is upon us, i ask for this: to continue to be present to the joy of knowing that all my meditations and prayers for happiness and love and abundance and fulfillment are answered, because they are coming to true for you.
happy friday.
lovelovelove |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|12:23 pm] |
so recently i noticed how my usual way of speaking is somewhat different right now... stuttered and stunted. i can't really explain it, and maybe its possibly just an effect of caffeine, but its disheartening to open my mouth expecting my words to come out smoothly- and they don't. i feel inarticulate, and i hate that feeling. well, strongly dislike it, at least. so here i am, with really nothing to say, other than ive been feeling like i cant say what it is what ive been meaning to say. that reminds me of a mushroom trip from when i was in high school. i spent over 2 hours on the porch smoking cigarettes with my friend kristina, trying to get to a point i could never reach, or remember. and no, i havent been doing mushrooms.
thats all for now.
not really a useful or informative post, i know. c'est la vie.
happy friday |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2006|04:37 pm] |
hello again.
i think about writing all the time. and don't. this seems to be a theme.
i think about doing lots of things- traveling, reading, running, helping, hurting, wondering, yoga-ing, meditating, quilting (or at least learning), planning... and don't. c'est la vie. mine, at least.
used to be: i'd journal on myspace... but now- its almost too public. or maybe i think that people won't understand what i have to say. or that im just on repeat... because the same themes come up over and over again in my writing. often, it's just my spiritual outlet- a way to monitor and record and reflect upon my growth (or lack thereof) and understanding (or lack thereof). and i spend a lot of time on the same lessons- being present, being responsible, being the cause, being being, etc etc etc. but i know that these are my lessons to learn, and sometimes i think they might get boring to other people. maybe not. maybe so.
so its nice to write again. to see words appear on the screen as quickly as i can type them. to create. i love that: the ability to create. something from nothing. i think thats really nifty.
anyways. hopefully i'll show up here more.
its all up to me, anyways.
happy thursday |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2006|09:29 am] |
i dont ever really update here... i guess i never thought i was cool enough for livejournal.
but i am a dork enough for myspace. www.myspace.com/chi_of_jess , if you're ever curious. i might start writing here more, as myspace is just plain silly. |
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| where has the time gone |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|02:50 pm] |
so its a lazy cold friday and i am still at work and can think of nothing better to do than update a completely dormant (and almost completely non existent) journal.
sigh
no one knows im here.
sometimes i think i'm lonely... but whenever that comes up, i just make myself really busy so i dont think about it so much. i just ended a relationsip of over a year that no longer helped me grow. i kept having visions of my life 5 years down the road, and still completely the same- falling asleep to the tv, having accomplished so little in so much time, conversations and arguments that went no where, and always wondering and aching how much else in life i would be missing out on.
break ups are not fun
i make boys cry.
but i'm on my own now- feeling my way through life and trying to get caught up in its own momentum. now its all about me.
i lead my first big managers meeting on wednesday. i work for a company that i grew up with, my family's company, and many of the managers remember me from diapers. and now, i'm (kinda) their boss. at times i am painfully aware of the irony.
and totally committed to making a difference.
my company has fallen asleep and forgotten how to grow. kinda like me. just living day to day to day. no gratitude. no growth. and (i hope) thats all about to change.
i am committed that everyone experience power, joy and acknowledgement.
really, i am committed that everyone experience themselves as god manifested on earth- that they realize the beauty and power they have to create their lives.
how do you bring that to a company of hairstylists?
when i was first offered this job, i was skeptical. my experience and training is in alternative healing and non profit work- not management or beauty industry.
but i wondered of myself- if i am really committed to making a difference in this world, why should i judge who deserves that?
sometimes i think that i am just so cheesy.
oh the deceptive power of self doubt. |
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| so i almost died yesterday |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|06:11 pm] |
choking on a choclate covered cherry.
seriously.
and seriously, how funny is that? ahh the irony.
my boyfriend had to give me the heimlich manuever 5 or 6 times before i was able to stop choking
how romantic, right?
i look at you, journal, so regularly... yet i never write. withholding perhaps? sometimes yes, sometimes no.
so much has been happening... when will i find time to write? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2004|06:07 pm] |
so this is it- a new begining.
this was last year http://jessabug.easyjournal.com/
i page through it sometimes, reminisce
oh how things have changed. and yet are still so the same. ah, the cliche that is life
ive watched (or is it lurked) a handful of various weblogs...i just feel like i need to write some more.
i think i feel stifled. not so fully self expressed.
so, im here. |
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